Splish-splash, splish-splash, splish-splash, splish...
We will leave those gallus Glesga folk enjoying themselves in Rothesay. For those left on board, we are now heading for
Dunoon, where the Cowal Games are held every year. If you can bear with me, I will try to explain the shenanigans of what
goes on during these Games.
Events take place, such as pipe-band competitions
in which Pipers compete by blowing as hard as they can into large cloth-balloons which are held underneath their oxters. The
first Piper to burst one of these balloons is then declared the biggest blow-hard in the band and holds this coveted title
for one year.
Highland
dancing is another of the activities with bonnie wee lassies appearing to be forced to dance on a bed of nails. Then on closer
inspection one realises that it’s much worse and that some tumshie of a clansman has left his clansmen comrades’
dirty great cutlasses on the mat on which the poor wee things are trying to perform a jig.
Tossing the caber, this one is difficult
to explain, but it seems to be all about these two big lumber-jacks built like Balerno bulls that lose the brow with one another
over who should get the productivity bonus and they begin throwing trees at one another. Anyway, the outcome is, as in the
old American westerns, the bad guy with the black moustache loses.
